A selection of classic Facebook status updates harvested from the International 'tinterweb:
...is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
...used to play sports. Then he realised you can buy trophies. Now he’s good at everything.
...says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
...is in bed with your girlfriend!
...understands that hard work pays off in future but laziness pays off now!
...thinks that happiness is a failure to understand how bad things really are.
...recommends screwing the ceiling fan in before switching it on!
...found out that if you search google in google, the internet would shut down.
...is watching her wedding video backwards, and loving the bit where I take off the ring, get out of the Church and f*** off with my friends.
...is posting on Twitter that he is updating his Facebook status update.